Thread: Discovery!
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Old 10-16-2011, 05:49 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I can read tour post that is missing. Hopefully it will be up soon so others can read what I have. Sorry, only II can fix that one I think. Spam scensor got it for some reason.

It sounds to me like she is opperating on NRE. Its only been a month with this person no? She doesn't think about you because she is rushing into this persons arms. You are still in NRE with her and she, by the sounds of it, is not.

It will likely run its course and ya, doesn't feel all that great. Its too bad she told you she pretty much forgets about you when you aren't there. That hurts

I think that it might be time to negotiate when you get that date night back again. Working it out for her to get to know this person was very generous of you, but if you have become resentful then I would ask that sometime in the future you get that back.

I needed transition time when I spent nights at Mono's back in the day. I totally get that. I needed at least an hour. I would of wallowed for longer in his energy, but I had a responsibility to a child who hadn't seen me in 24 hours and had to suck it up. Now we live together and there is not the same urgency. It does pass. Think about you primary partner. Do you need the same transition where he is concerned? Likely not.

I have a partner that I have had to come to terms with in terms of how much time he wants to spend with me. One date a month is it for him. One text a day is enough also. He has insisted on this even though I have asked and whined. Finally I had to decide what was the best case scenario; see him once a month and scale back my longing and need for his presence or throw my hands up and say forget it. I thought the latter was too wrapped up in my ego so I gave him what he needed with a request that he text me and arrange some dates where I had arranged and done all the texting. It had made me feel used that I was doing all the work. He has respected my request and so while my connection has scaled back, I find that I am doing just fine as is and have moved my focus elsewhere. It has all taken time however.
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