All my sympathies on turning 40. It was an extremely difficult time for me. But then -- it got better. It really did!
Goals for the future? TOOO big and broad. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Be gentle on your sweet self. You aren't going to re-build anything, until you get your foundation right. So make some goals for today, so you can build on that tomorrow. BREATHING is a good start! If you're 40 and a day, and you're still breathing, you are a survivor!
You are grieving, and that takes a lot of energy. So don't expect to overhaul your entire life all at once. There is a big wide wonderful world out there, waiting for you, when you're ready. Turn on some Indigo Girls. Peter Gabriel. Breathe. Cry. Smile. You're going to be okay.