Thank you for the support. I know this is just my side of the story. I try to explain things to him but it seems he always misinterprets due to the current situations. Maybe a break would be best.
As for my daughter. I love her! I want the best for her and right now, I'm not getting that from her father. He has health issues too which I hadn't mentioned before. The problem is, he is only willing to give me a break when I need sleep. I change her, bathe her, talk to her, love her all the time. I did have to ask him about this -- he never seems to take an interest in her. He only gets her when I'm at a breaking point
It has been a rough year, divorce for both of us, new pregnancy, moving in together (probably way too soon -- I agree with you Magdlyn), and being a new mom now. I'm still learning!! Within that first week he expected me to know her cries, to know what to do. I haven't been around children or rather newborns well... don't think I ever really was around them. All my cousins are the same age as me.
I feel rushed in all my actions. I'm expected to learn something and improve all at once -- no time. Yes I agree with him. Its takes extremes sometimes to make me do something but he hadn't asked me properly for something he'd like done.
He says he cannot give me a commitment to know I'm a high priority in his life or to just feel secure in "us". He just says things like "for the moment..." "nothings a guaranty". This hurts.
Now, in all this, I will be returning to work in a week. I hate my job right now and being in this situation isn't making things any easier for me. *sigh* Finally he brought up something. When I went through my divorce, my ex left me with a good deal of debt that he was suppose to help me with. The ex didn't. My current now apparently brings this up as "security" for me. Saying he pays the rent, gets the groceries, pays for everything. This is NOT true. Although my income has been extremely limited, I still contribute what I can.
Maybe I'm fighting for a lost cause. I will ask him to read this thread. Thank you everyone *hugs* I'm finding it easier to get my emotions out here and to get suggestions.
Also as an update, I did move out today or rather mostly moved out. I am now living with my parents. I'm saddened that I had to go to this route. I still love him. I just want to feel secured and loved by him so that we can enjoy this lifestyle together. I really will not mind him having a girlfriend. It just came as a shock as he told me one thing, then excelled the process extremely fast for me without really letting me know exactly where they were and what was happening. He won't let me say the process was fast... he just keeps telling me he made a mistake and YET continues to move things on with her.