'nother noob both here and to poly.
I'm Alex, I'm a Brit, but live in CA now.
After being together for 18 years, DW stumbled onto someone new. We've talked things through, and it looks like Poly is the way forward.
About 5 years ago I had met someone who was "right" too, but went the old fashioned way of coming home to DW and forgetting it ever happened. I never even thought to ask, my wife did though.
Now I'm learning about poly and coping, even embracing the idea.