I think it has nothing to do with you. I think you should let the two men decide. This is not about you. Its about their relationship. It seems obvious to me your husband is not ready for bf to be that big a deal that you should come out about it yet and is using this as a way to let you both know. Your bf likely knows this and is playing it smart... As men often do with other men. ESPECIALLY when they are dating their wives! Leave it alone, this is not a red flag. I'd say this is you stuck in your NRE after two months in and thinking this is forever love. Let your husband have this and back off. Let the men do their men thing and work it out on their own. This is what strong metamour relationships are built on.
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