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Old 10-12-2011, 08:57 AM
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veganchick veganchick is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Yes, I sadly noticed that, in Podunk's thread, he felt compelled to mention how VC's body was not his ideal (even tho her figure and hair sounds hot as hell), and how thank god her ass is filling out a little as she gets older.

Isn't love based on what is inside, not the outside package? I have no idea how much Podunk talks about how VC isn't his ideal woman, looks-wise, but the fact that he brought it up on his thread, when it was rather irrelevant, makes me go, hmmm... How has this issue affected VC's self esteem?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Somebody pursues you even when they've seen your post-pregnancy belly, and you are so grateful and flattered that you think this is it! Even feel obliged to service them orally (was there any reciprocative touching there?) and cater to their issues around using protection.

Really? Tons of women out there are beautiful, sexy and fulfilled (including me) and have tummies that stick out. It's just the shape some women take, and even if you're not biologically programmed to gather your food storage around the waist area, pregnancy can do that to anyone.

You are not damaged goods who should seize every opportunity of someone showing interest in you just because you fear you are not beautiful and desirable enough!

If a guy expresses interest in sexing you up, it has nothing to do with connection or even compatibility, seeing the real you or whatever. You are not hideously deformed.

It can be very damaging to self-esteem and body image if your SO expresses clearly and repeatedly that you do not represent their ideal physique. Do you believe that people chat you up for your firm boobs/nice smile/whatever, REGARDLESS them actually thinking you are not, as a package deal, that attractive? That they would choose to go out with someone who has a flatter tummy or rounder arse?

Do you have an MO where you are so grateful to a guy for showing interest in you that you feel you have to sex them up for gratitude?
I have had self-image issues for years - weight fluctuations, young parenthood, early development/awkwardness. This was all before Podunk so I surely can't blame him for any of that. It has always been nice to be with someone who could share appreciation of different body types. I've expressed my self consciousness over the years and have always been reminded that I am truly loved for who I am. Not just a blanket statement of "Oh, VC, I love who you are inside" but a truly detailed expression of all of the parts that make me special. I'm regularly told how "cute" I am. It is true that Podunk is an "ass man". My feelings of inadequacy are my own. I own them. There is every real possibility that I seek sexual situations with others to feel attractive. But, it fluctuates -it's not a constant thing. My life is not held up over anxiety about my body. I'll hang out naked with anyone. The feelings of self consciousness come in waves. I don't know that what you express about having sex to show gratitude is something I feel I engage in. But, it's a thought for me to consider as I try to grow.
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