Originally Posted by Nycindie
Also, I have to say that, despite what he says about wanting poly, I keep having this sense that Podunk really prefers swinging. Perhaps the possibility of your having a deeper emotional connection with someone else, as in polyamory, hit him harder than he expected and feels like a threat to him in some way.
Originally Posted by River
An interesting line of inquiry worthy of an honest look and response from Podunk.
I don't prefer swinging. You could count our swinging dates on one hand. It's not the deeper connection that hit me, it's the LIES AND BROKEN TRUST!!!
There would have been a lot to process here, that much is obvious. It was our first real poly experience, our first solo experience, it was 400 miles away and for 8 days! Add to that our personal histories. Outside of our few swinging experiences, each of us could count our romantic and sexual partners on one hand as well! How many people have come on here all broken up over a simple first date? This was a lot bigger than that!
And anyone looking at the situation would have known that, right? Who would have expected it not be an emotionally complex situation? Only person I know who saw it that way was veganchick. She was WRONG! Even more than me, SHE wasn't ready to handle this situation!
That is what led us to where we are today. I never had a chance to accept her week with Paul for what it was, never had a chance to process it in any reasonable or rational way. All I got was a huge shitpile of lies, deceit and broken trust and was left to figure it all out in the midst of that.