Originally Posted by Carma
The sun is shining today and there is too much to be grateful for; I can't sit around and mentally masturbate all day long! I just can't, for my own sanity. I'm trying to let go of the resentments, because they are eating me alive.
I so feel you on this Carma. We worked all morning and afternoon together on a renovation project. There were no rude comments, no discussion of our situation. It was pleasant. I so wanted to hug her, but could not. She was somewhat aloof and disconnected, probably for fear of starting something. For a minute I could see what we had just a few weeks ago. At first I just allowed myself to feel it, but by the afternoon it had started to wear on me. It is so very broken right now, and the pain couldn't be kept away for long. The late afternoon was kid-filled and fun as always. I got out for the evening, with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Best day in the past week for sure, but still a big empty spot.