Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
Why do you both need to date Danny? Couples dating single individuals is one of the hardest poly configs out there, and forcing your relationship into that mould before having any real poly experience is not a wise solution, especially if motivated by thoughts 'It's only fair', 'It will seem less threatening', etc.
They already have a loving friendship with him, though just not sexual (yet
). Since that is there already, I think this situation has more potential to succeed than other couples who go out unicorn-hunting and hoping to find a complete stranger to make their fantasies come true.
My first reaction was the thought "how nice," when you described having a best friend like Danny in your life.
Have you searched in the forum much for similar threads? There are a number of ways to find stuff here, and there have been many threads on how to broach the subject of poly with a partner. You may want to look at the "sticky" topics. At the top of the Golden Nuggets forum is a thread called Master Threads Worth Reading. I did a search once for threads about how to bring up the topic of poly and related issues, which I posted there. Here it is:
Threads about determining if polyamory is for you, and how to discuss it
The rest of that "Master Threads" topic has some other gems, too. Also do a tag search by either using the Advanced Search page and selecting Tags, or clicking on the Search button above where you will see a little drop-down box with a link to "Tag Search." That will take you to a page where the popular tags are listed (and a search box below).