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Old 10-11-2011, 04:00 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saltandredpepper View Post
So how does it work out in the end when each partner dates separately? I can feel myself detaching some from the primary relationship as she and I have started down that path.
Detachment isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think it's a huge lesson for any couple to learn that they can still love each other deeply and not be "attached" in the way they used to be, or in the way that monogamous society thinks it should be. There is a lot to be gained in recognizing a partner's autonomy and individuality. To me, attachment smacks a bit of possessiveness, of holding the other back, and of wanting things to stay the same. Really, when you love someone you want them to be happy and free, not attached and dependent. A partnership is standing beside the person you love, being supportive when asked and holding up a mirror when needed, but we all make our journeys through life on our own terms.

You're looking at some good stuff and asking the right questions!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 10-11-2011 at 04:03 PM.
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