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Old 10-11-2011, 03:51 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906

Hullo and welcome!

Originally Posted by CamInGA View Post
...I have never been with a woman prior to this relationship, but I have been married to a man before. The past 2-3 years, I have been craving the attention and affections of a man again.
Do you self-ID as bi/pansexual? Have you communicated about the change in your feelings with Jean?

Originally Posted by CamInGA View Post
Jean has told me during our recent trials that if we break up, she would date Danny.
Seems Jean is okay with the concept of sexual fluidity herself. However, what have those recent trials been about? Are you solid again, or is there some lingering uncertainty or resentment there?

As anyone will tell you, a couple needs to have a solid foundation from where to explore poly (check tags for 'foundation' and maybe 'couples', too).

Originally Posted by CamInGA View Post
I really want to have a conversation with Jean about the possibility of us both dating Danny...
Why do you both need to date Danny? Couples dating single individuals is one of the hardest poly configs out there, and forcing your relationship into that mould before having any real poly experience is not a wise solution, especially if motivated by thoughts 'It's only fair', 'It will seem less threatening', etc.

Originally Posted by CamInGA View Post
However, I do feel a real need to spend time with a man. Part of that is because Jean works nights and I spend alot of time alone, and I would love the company of someone on those lonely nights.
These are two distinct motivations. 1. You want to explore your bisexual side. 2. You want more company to complement your and Jean's relationship. Without knowing anything much about your situation, I have to question if there are easier fixes to situation 2 than getting a new lover. If it's not Jean's company in specific you crave, but any company, why won't new friends or I dunno, volunteering activities do? If you live in a small town, I guess the nightlife is less active there.

All in all, there really is nothing bad about wanting more love and romance in your life. It doesn't signal anything's wrong or unfulfilling in your present relationship. Tons of bisexual folks are drawn to poly precisely because you don't have to choose.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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