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Old 10-11-2011, 02:56 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Podunk View Post
She spends a good bit of time romanticizing another potential fuck buddy, Bob. Has she learned nothing from all of this?

What you really said is that you felt "the exact same thing" you have with me. Really? You thought I would be amazed by that? Excited even? You talked to some random dude for a couple of hours and found exactly what we have built over six years? How cheap is what we have?
I actually thought about this when I woke up this morning. Since it is the dishonesty that you felt was her biggest offense, how is it that she should've learned not to honestly express her feelings about another guy? Obviously she wasn't saying that she and Bob had the exact same love she shares with you, but that there was the same "kind of" thrill, spark, and excitement, which she recognized. Feeling that taught her something about how to know if there is something more substantial to pursue. But that is now an offense to you, too? Do you want her to discover these things about herself or not? You remarked that his overt declarations about what he wanted to do with her sexually is even more of a reason to think that the weekend would have been a disaster all around with him, too. This is a big "tell" on your part, about what's really bothering you.

I wonder if you would rather have had VC come home from that weekend without any sexual experiences or romantic feelings toward anyone at all. She would still have been this shy, insecure woman you get to "nurture" into becoming enlightened how you see fit, somehow. I think it would behoove you to explore at a deeper level how you really feel about opening up the relationship both sexually and emotionally. It sounds like that's an idea that appeals to you but the reality does not.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 10-11-2011 at 04:44 PM.
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