Originally Posted by saltandredpepper
Hey, thanks for the understanding, Anneintherain (love that name!). She would like the two of us guys to be friends and allies and that is the biggest reason she would rather I didn't leave when he visits.
My partner who's also on this forum as Mara reminded me that she had broken up with her other guy as she and I were coming together but then reinitiated with him when we decided to open up the relationship. I realized on a long run last night that I had envisioned courting a mutual partner with the new open relationship.
You were imagining having a "unicorn." Male or female, does it matter? You said you've had 3ways with her other partner... are you both bi?
Her bringing back her ex and my checking out my own ex's has brought some distance to our partnership, though we are talking about it now and committed to finding a way to be loving and supportive of each other.
You two are running into a very common scenario. It seems most couples first look for a "single hot bi babe" to share, when first opening their marriage. This hardly ever happens, and the partners go on to date separately. It's nice when ones' 2 partners click as friends, as your wife seems to wish, but that doesn't always happen either.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)