Originally Posted by Podunk
This is where I have done my own begging. Her words ALL come out as justification, regardless of the intent. I have asked her to stop trying, to just accept my anger and my hurt. She can't give me that, the attempted explanations and their re-writes just keep coming. It's too much, there are no simple words or actions that can fix this! It just makes me more and more upset. Veganchick tries to fix it. It is circular. This is not a new dynamic for us, just magnified by the current disaster.
And yes, it will take a VERY LONG time to move on from this. Until veganchick accepts that, there is no possibility of reconciling.
You are right. I just spent 15 minutes typing a response only to realize that while apologizing it still might appear as a justification. So, I deleted it. I will probably choose to speak less as a result, as well. It is a HUGE relief to me to know that there is even a tiny bit of hope that with a lot of time/energy we could possibly reconcile. I agree that we should stop discussing.