I just wish to take a break from the relationship-oriented discussion so far and point out something that you've probably realized, something glaringly obvious in your posts.
Somebody pursues you even when they've seen your post-pregnancy belly, and you are so grateful and flattered that you think this is it! Even feel obliged to service them orally (was there any reciprocative touching there?) and cater to their issues around using protection.
Really? Tons of women out there are beautiful, sexy and fulfilled (including me) and have tummies that stick out. It's just the shape some women take, and even if you're not biologically programmed to gather your food storage around the waist area, pregnancy can do that to anyone.
You are not damaged goods who should seize every opportunity of someone showing interest in you just because you fear you are not beautiful and desirable enough!
If a guy expresses interest in sexing you up, it has nothing to do with connection or even compatibility, seeing the real you or whatever. You are not hideously deformed.
It can be very damaging to self-esteem and body image if your SO expresses clearly and repeatedly that you do not represent their ideal physique. Do you believe that people chat you up for your firm boobs/nice smile/whatever, REGARDLESS them actually thinking you are not, as a package deal, that attractive? That they would choose to go out with someone who has a flatter tummy or rounder arse?
Do you have an MO where you are so grateful to a guy for showing interest in you that you feel you have to sex them up for gratitude?
Me: bi female in my twenties