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Old 10-11-2011, 08:21 AM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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I've been away awhile and still don't plan on posting much, but your posts have brought me out of my lurking. I can so feel and relate to your pain. Having been there almost 1 1/2 yrs ago, I offer the advice to remove yourself from it the best you can, if only for a few hours. The best thing I did when in the midst of of lies, drama, pain , all threatening to consume me, was find other things to do. It's hard, I know, to put your mind on something else, but I learned through that hell, that the mind likes to walk in circles and have you thinking yourself into a hole. Distracting myself was the best thing I need. It gave my brain a chance to relax. It gave me a new perspective of things. And best of all it gave me the ability to calmly work through the situation.

The other best thing I did, was what Karma and I did together. We had a night a total brutal honesty. Our rules-no lying, no yelling (we were allowed to express that something said hurt us, be we were not allowed to start yelling), no walking out. We created a safe space for honesty in doing that. We both came clean about a lot of things and we were both hurt. But we also walked forward from that point. And we have never been stronger. It takes maturity on both ends to put the instinct to lash out at the cause of pain, aside and do what needs done to save things. But I think you both can do it, if you both are willing, which is why I suggest you take the advice of locking the computer chords away, let her leave for a few days if that's what she wants/ needs or what you need. And you both decide if you want to go forward, then go from there. Good Luck.
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