Podunk, you keep saying that Veganchick shows no remorse and now that she's "disconnected" from her responsibility in what happened. However, here in this thread she expressed that she has no idea how to rebuild trust between you. In her PMs to me, she expressed hesitation about voicing her perspective here because she felt she should defer to your pain, and "not make it about her." She stated that she learned a great deal from this experience, but since you are feeling so wounded, she didn't think she should talk about that.
Veganchick also told me that she was "clinging to the hope" that you would let her back in to your heart and life, that she is devastated, and wants to "seek advice on what is necessary to mend our broken hearts." This doesn't sound like someone disconnected and unremorseful. It sounds like someone at her wit's end who feels like she's facing a brick wall in trying to discuss any of this with you. Perhaps she has not felt compassion coming from you toward her. My guess is that you have made it quite clear she is not forgiven, and that leaves her with no more hope about repairing the relationship, so she feels the only thing she can do is leave.
Perhaps the woman who split from your life before also felt she had no choice. Maybe you protect yourself with a very formidable vibe when you are hurt or angry. I know that when my ex was angry with me, it was extremely frightening (even though I knew he would never hurt me), and that energy was difficult to have directed at me. You do seem to take a fatalistic stance. It could be a very good thing for the two of you to live apart for a little while to cool off.
Last edited by nycindie; 10-10-2011 at 10:30 PM.