Like nycindie said, we need some more information about your situation. However, my husband and I have a system for spending time with my boyfriend.
In general I don't cuddle/touch either of them when we're all together, mainly because its relatively new to us, and we're still testing boundaries. The secondary and I don't have sex in the same bed as my husband and me, and I don't have sex with one of them while the other is in the house. One day, we might be comfortable enough to eliminate one of more of these rules, but this works for us now.