A friend of ours held an early Halloween party Saturday night. Gia had come up with an adorable group costume idea for her, Eric and Bee, and she'd invited me to join them on it.
I left work early on Friday and went to her place so we could work on our costumes and talk. I poured out all my concerns about my relationship with Davis, everything I've said here and more, and she listened as we sewed.
She pinpointed Davis's recurring depression as something that might be causing a lot of issues between us. Eric has seasonal affective disorder, and it used to be that when he got depressed each winter she felt like he was someone else, not necessarily someone she wanted to be with. For a while, she made it a condition of their relationship that he start and continue therapy. He's since developed some coping strategies and it's easier for both of them now. She suggested that I consider insisting that Davis get help if we are to continue to be together.
She also had a lot of other helpful little things to say, but mostly it was just good to get all of my worries out. Saying everything out loud made me feel like I could talk to Davis about it all too. Gia said that she sees a lot worth in my connection with Davis and that she hopes we can work it out -- but I know she'll support me either way.
I came back to her place Saturday morning and we spent all day finishing our costumes and juggling Bee while Eric and his brother worked on the house. It was a very pleasant, productive day for everyone. Bee sometimes stops fussing when I sing, so I spent a lot of the day singing.
As we were getting ready to leave the house, I noticed a copy of The Five Love Languages. I recognized it from people mentioning it here and asked if I could borrow it. Gia said yes, and mentioned that she'd borrowed it from Liza for the purpose of understanding me better (I rely heavily on touch as a way to convey and accept affection, she doesn't). I took it as a very positive sign that in the midst of everything going on in her life, she's actively thinking about how better to relate to me.
At the party, everyone got what we were going for and I think we all looked awesome (especially Bee, of course... babies in costumes!!!). The whole costume thing made me really happy -- it felt good to be included, to have Gia's help in making it happen (she's miles better at sewing than I am), and to present ourselves as a group to all our mutual friends.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.