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Old 10-09-2011, 04:17 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Hey TP,

I think it's great that you are as sex positive as you are. It's a rare thing.
I think the reason it might be a concern is that not everyone else is as comfortable as you. Sex can complicate things just because, as we hear here a lot, sometimes someone is not as into the other person as they wished. Especially sexually. Just not compatible sometimes in bed.
That then puts a strain on what would otherwise be a great friendship. There's always this "threat" of sex hanging over their heads. Not wanting to hurt someone's feelings etc.
Yes. I've made that mistake before. He would say no one minute, then flirt the next. It was very confusing, and more hurtful than if he'd just said no and left it at that.

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
So it's a risk. You hop in the sack together and it either works or it doesn't. If it doesn't - the majority of people are too uncomfortable to discuss that and up goes the wall. And a friendship often spoiled.

Not a lot of people are sex comfortable enough to just sit down and say " I love you to death as a friend but sexually we aren't a match" Fragile egos being what they are.

Make sense ?
Yes and no. I am not too uncomfortable to discuss how I feel about it. Which means they will hear and have the opportunity to speak. But you know what? There is so much less pressure (for me, anyway) to perform, because it's a totally different kind of sex (to me) than relationship sex. It's a bonding experience; it doesn't need to be earth shattering. I have a hard time believing that you can't have reasonably good sex between two people who care about each other. That said, I would say that good sex with a friend isn't the same as good, compatible sex with a partner.

I don't know. I've never had bad sex as an adult. There has always been something that was unique, or worthwhile about my experiences. That doesn't mean I would be in a relationship with everyone I've had sex with; a higher degree of sexual compatibility is necessary for a relationship (for me) than what might be achieved through a good, loving time with a friend.

Last edited by TruckerPete; 10-09-2011 at 04:21 PM. Reason: Quote issues. Stupid iPad.
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