Back to Violet!
Is it the issue of the rings that's the problem or is it the feelings that it has brought up?
Sounds more like there are three people with different wants, needs and desires and you haven't found a common ground. If the symbolism of a ring is important, it should be considered with the respect deserved.
Going for a drive to capture a little bit of one on one time, Hell Ya! Every kind of relationship needs alone time, one on one and 'family' time to remain in a healthy balance!
Kids,,,,,big issue! If opinions and desires to have or not to have are so different you need to back up the truck and properly address this. A child isn't given the choice of what type dynamic they are birthed into. We are the parents of 6 now adult children between us, they may be 'raised' but we are parents for life! This is one issue that can not be put aside, it won't go away,
and the ramifications can be far reaching!
I truly hurt for you Violet, I have known many of the same feelings. I wish you all the best and hope you can find what is right for the three of you!