You're almost 29, divorced, have a new girlfriend, and are terrified of being alone. Dude, really? Your ex-wife finally left because of your girlfriend, and you're worried about being alone? Either you found the only two women in the region that will date you, or you're not that hard to date. Not assuming the worst would be a start on the being-more-likeable.
As for the girlfriend, it sounds like you both have lots of baggage. The problem is no one seems to be facing up to the tough decisions. If you need to have multiple partners to be fulfilled, and she is not ok with that, then you need to man up and get out. This a-prostitute-when-I-say-so thing is controlling, probably a lie, and kind of creepy. The fact that she's willing to violate your trust and sneak around by hacking into your Yahoo account is not a healthy or stable sign. Your prison will never be mire free than it is right now, and right now it sounds like you're already pretty locked down.
Accept your nature and hers. Move on.
I wouldn't be surprised if she came to you saying that she could do better and will try harder, but that's just the manipulation talking. Be comfortable with yourself as an individual, and you'll be a better partner in the future, but for now, reduce the amount of emo crazy in your daily life.