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Old 10-08-2011, 03:46 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Is there passion in the mix? ... Many good friendships, even loving ones, would be totally ruined if you force them into a couply mold.
Hmm. Passion. Yes and no. We have strong physical chemistry, my body seems to know and recognize him -- I get wet very quickly when things start to get sexual between us, we fit together well and have good orgasms together. We're, at the same time, rough and tender.

But I'm not always 100% engaged mentally. The very idea of him doesn't get me all chilled and thrilled like it's been with some other lovers, y'know? I'd say it was just because of our long history together, but it was actually never quite there with him, that encompassing excitement.

You have some good points about loving friendships... food for thought. I just don't think a lower level of involvement/commitment is going to work for us here, he's been so into me for so long and he's longing for stability right now. If I truly can't give that to him than I probably just need to step away and allow him space to move on.

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
I don't think you should make any lasting commitments unless your hand with Gia is played through, and you see what sort of form your relationship with her will take post-Bee.
I think the thing that makes that idea hard, for both Gia and me, is that she definitely can't commit to me more deeply right now (and who knows, we may well never get to that point), and she has a full-time life partner in Eric. So the idea of me putting the rest of my romantic life on hold indefinitely while I wait and see, it just seems a little too unbalanced.

I see what you're saying, and it's tempting... but if I *do* stay with Davis then I owe it to him and myself to let it progress naturally and not to miss opportunities because I'm holding my breath waiting to see what someone else might at some point be ready to offer me.

Then again, six months post baby might not be too much to ask... this does seem, in some ways, like the exact wrong time for this, with so much up in the air. On the other hand, if things were smooth between me and Davis then his support and presence during this crazy time might be just the rock I'd need. *sigh*

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Wouldn't that be better for everyone included? If Davis is mono, he will be wanting a life-partner of his own that really puts him on top of their list.
Or I could be totally of the mark and you just need to give it time.
I'm trying to figure out how I'd prioritize Davis and Gia in my life if I stay with Davis. Could he ever really be the most important thing to me when Gia and Bee are so incalculably precious to me?

I don't know, I don't know. :/ Balancing the logistics, the tide-like pulls, of various partners seems less complicated when I'm giving advice to others, heh. In my own life, I'm baffled. But yeah, I think you might be right about what Davis will want/need versus what I can give.

Or it could be the time thing. :P
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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