Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
I don't know how to ask his respectfully, really. It' just how you describe how different your loves are from each other, and how you're versatile enough to fit comfortably in with all of them. Do you feel this is something you have always had in you, or were you originally more symbiotic/co-dependent with your ex and/or PN? Do you feel the need for variety or is it something you have just had to develop when you've fallen for such different people?
good question. I don't know how you could think it was disrespectful though? I'm happy to do my best to answer any questions.
I was co-dependent with other partners in the past as that is what I thought was required to be a partner. I learned from several long terms partnerships that I don't fit that formula and felt constrained when it came to developing other close relationships; with men particularly.
PN and I have never been totally entwined in that way. He came into my marriage with my now ex wife. We have always been non-monogamous even though we spent years without other partners. I was always able to explore meaningful relationships with other while with him.
I have always needed companionship and deep friendships and can't seem to manage that without it becoming a relationship of partnership. Variety is part of that I guess.
Hope that answers your questions?