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Old 10-07-2011, 04:30 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Yay, I thought, an update to ray's blog!

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Originally Posted by ray View Post
I've decided to be monogamous.
You go girl!

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Originally Posted by ray View Post
Not with any specific person, just in general, for the future. It's not something I've ever experienced. As I've examined myself and what I want from romantic relationships, I've concluded that monogamy would best suit me. I'd be open to non-sexual play (kink) with people outside the relationship but I only want to have there be one 'love' relationship going on at a time.

I think that having my first relationship be polyamorous and feeling like I needed myself to accept it even if it wasn't what I really wanted it. I felt a bit pigeon holed. Like I had ended up there and just needed to keep going down that road. Then, joining the kink community only encouraged that. Monogamy, there, is not the norm and it tends to be a bit looked down upon. As I continued to explore poly, it just felt less and less rewarding. I realized that I really want to be monogamous. I had just been denying myself something because I didn't believe I was worth it. Naturally, I still see poly as a valid option, just not for me personally at this juncture in my life.
I think your introduction to poly and the particular circumstances around it have been so wildly different from pretty much everyone else on this forum's regulars that I am happy to hear you managed to get to the core of what you wanted despite being in such a "pro-poly" environment .

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...a scene where he neglected to tell me that he was furious at me but went ahead and beat the crap out of me any way. He attempted to force me into friendship (after I'd expressed a desire to maintain my distance) with his girl toy and tried to get me to cut off my friendship with E and M.
Wow, he sounds like a really unsafe play partner . Seems E and M knew what they were doing, taking their distance from him (are they women btw? are they included in the non-sexual play partner category or just friends?).

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He told me I was over-thinking it...... He tried to make me feel really guilty about telling him no... This has totally killed any desire to date for the time being.
Roll eyes indeed. Not finding somebody attractive enough to want to make out with them equals over-thinking now ? I'm sorry you keep having these negative expectations confirmed.

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...how OKC was making me feel overwhelmed.
Why not take down your profile for a while? I just did on another dating site and it felt weirdly liberating.

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If all goes well, next year I will be pursuing my MSW. This coming week is our fall break. I will be doing lots of homework, grad school apps and cleaning.
Masters in Social Work I take it? As we speak (well, figuratively speaking) I should be immersing myself in legislation studies and/or public accounting. Ah, sigh. My mum keeps phoning me and nagging about how I'm neglecting my studies due to the excitement of my new relationship with Vanilla. I think more than Vanilla, it's Doctor Who, this forum and an online game I'm immersed in that are eating away my study time.

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I also am getting a manicure on Monday lol. First time in 10 years. It feels so silly and frivolous but I want to try it.
Just a regular manicure or fake nails? I've been to a beauty salon twice, the first time they maimed my face. I tried to learn from that, took a pedicure next time (it was arranged by my place of work) and the pedicurist went "You have some of the nicest feet I've ever seen. I don't know what do, there's nothing to do with this pair". I was flattered, in a way .
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