So, I am so completely 100% in love with 'old love' (really must think of some good names for these people!). It is a comfortable, familiar love. It doesn't have the neon flashy lights of other relationships I've had. It has deep trust, affection, familiarity, respect & attraction. I want to make an effort for him, but don't feel I have to - I feel comfortable looking like i've been through a hedge backwards (& often do!). A very different kettle of fish, but just as tasty!
I feel horrendously guilty about this love. I'm not sure that my recent ex is ready to see me this happy with another - I fear it would cripple him whilst he's at his most vulnerable since he just doesn't seem to understand that for me, love is not finite. Loving someone else does not detract from the quality of concurrent loves. I think partly that is why I'm so keen on taking it slowly...another part is that 7 years was a long time, I'm recently out of it, and I don't want a rebound with someone so wonderful (well, not at all). At the moment I'm trying to avoid contact with the ex; a bit of a battle for me but I think he needs it despite not asking for it. I generally hate making assumptions but feel this is right.
I think I am just worrying way too much. Old love is happy taking things slow, happy enjoying the magnificent ride. We have much to learn about each other still (always will!) and certainly much to learn physically between each other. Emotionally, we're there. But emotions alone do not a solid relationship make.
Anyway, tomorrow is Friday, the day we get to spend many hours cuddling, talking, laughing, growing & generally basking in the loveliness of our time together. Can. Not. Wait....especially after receiving the most delightful message from him just now. I'm a very lucky woman indeed
Ex = The Geek
Colleague = The Rock (I don't know how much I'll be discussing him though, we'll see!)
Old love = The Cuddler