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Old 10-06-2011, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Errr... an addiction to this board, curiosity, drama?

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I can only imagine the pain and confusion you're going through.
Haha, I had a brief addiction to this board and some quite long-term addictions on others.

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I don't have a lot else to add, sadly. It sounds like VC thought she could do poly, and did fine in group situations, but veered way off course when she went solo. Maybe the lies were a leftover guilt thing from our culture's weirdness about exramarital sex?
That is the best answer I have heard yet, got a similar response from a friend and have pulled some of that out of veganchick. She didn't make the emotional connection she wanted, which who does in the first hour? So she tried to get it through sex, and when that didn't work, she tried even more sex!!! Talk about confused!

What really mixed things up for her was her last night at the commune. She made that emotional connection with another visitor after a few hours of chatting. There was no sex, but what she had been trying to get from Paul all along was fulfilled by visitor. I think she began to feel kind of dirty for her disconnected sex with Paul.

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The real kicker, of course, is that she lied to you and THEN slept with you, meaning you could have been exposed to something. Just... so not ok. I mean, obviously you know that, I'm just saying... I can see why you're so uninclined to try to reconcile right now.
Thanks for your understanding! I really don't have that from anyone right now.

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Then again, I've seen couples go through worse, sort it out, and decide to stay together. Doesn't necessarily mean that should happen here. Still, 6 years is a long time. If I were you, I'd get away, stay somewhere else, clear my head. I'd also consider contacting Paul directly, maybe send him this thread to read.

Good luck, man.
You can't even imagine how much I love her! I don't know at this point if I can continue the relationship, only time will tell. It was literally only a few days ago that I had it all and couldn't imagine life without her. I still can't.
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