A week passed, the sex was phenomenal, our love of life together unshakeable or so it seemed to me. Then veganchick let it slip that she had kissed Paul. Not a big deal in and of itself, but certainly a lot more than "nothing" and greatly magnified by the earlier denial. It was big but not overwhelming and a relatively short discussion settled the matter. To put it in context we have been swingers and kissing is uncommon in that community. This was our first kiss outside of our six year relationship together. This would have been the time to come clean, but the lies would go on for another week.
Right around the time of our kissing revelation, we had a friend over for dinner. Veganchick spent hours raving about the intentional community and about Paul. This was all new to our friend who wasn't very familiar with Poly, but she likes alternative things of all sorts and took it in stride. At times veganchick's discourse went the way of smug self-aggrandizement. Not such a big deal at the time and forgivable considering her youthful excitement about her adventures. Completely distasteful and disgusting now considering the context of her lies and deceit.
All during this first week home, veganchick maintained that "nothing had happened" between her and Paul and the basically had no romantic interest in him. Meanwhile she was secretly discussing via email another possible trip to the commune. She was also telling Paul what a wonderful and meaningful time they had together and that she was looking forward to continuing where they left off. She now claims she was lying to him too during that period.
So many lies, which ones to believe? And for what? She had the most understanding partner anyone could ask for, a completely open relationship, few if any boundaries and six years of honest loving communication. The question of WHY will remain unanswered in this story.