I guess some others have wisely tagged the culprit for you.
Plain old lousy communication.
Don't be too hard on yourself, or anyone else. It's one of the numerous newbie lessons that comes from moving into this lovestyle.
We're conditioned early on to dance around potentially tricky topics - sex being the biggest on of those. Where in fact what is needed is the direct approach.
This will take some time and practice. You'll discover it also applies to all the emotional parts also. Those need to be talked about openly and honestly. This game playing (code words etc) most often just leads to confusion and disaster.
Wash it off. Start again. Smile.