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Old 10-06-2011, 02:10 PM
Vertige Vertige is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3

Yeah, I am/ have been in the same position as you for a few years now, and as I am trying to get out of the situation, it occurs to me that maybe I have a few words of advice for you:

1. It gets harder to remove yourself from lovers as time goes on.
2. You may have only inklings at guilt, kept at bay by willing ignorance, but the guilt will get stronger and stronger. That's what guilt does, it consumes.
3. Just because you might 'get away' with these behaviors now, the nature of life is change, and when you finally get caught, it will probably have all the backlash of previous misbehaviors wrapped up with it.

There are a few other things that come along with everything mentioned above, of course, but those are the top root issues I have encountered.

Part of the reason I am here on this forum might be similar to yours, so I'll add my comment in this post as well. It is great and inspirational to hear about more successful poly lifestyles and relationships. It seems to take a will and clarity and self-knowledge that I haven't yet developed to create such open and honest relationships. I hate to say it, but I personally struggle with cowardice/resignation/lack of integrity quite a bit, which interferes with my fantasy of a positive and fruitful poly life becoming reality. If you can manage to keep yourself upright now, you will enjoy more success in the nearer future than spending your energy trying to back peddle and course correct like me

Hope that's helpful.
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