Upon our return home veganchick and Paul immediately began communicating electronically. While veganchick has had several online romances brewing over the past year, this had been her first in-person encounter. She was giddy with the excitement of capturing the attention of someone she found incredibly attractive on many levels. Veganchick had been also been in love for years with the idea of intentional community, and Paul's community in particular. That he was a member and could open the door of that community to her just sweetened the deal.
Plans quickly hatched for a return visit and grew from a few days to a weeklong stay. Not that it would have mattered, but I was not aware at this time that sex was already a planned part of the visit. I assumed it would happen and was okay with that. But veganchick chose not to disclose this to me, reasons unknown. The lies and deception had already begun.
Veganchick inquired what our rules/boundaries would be. After swinging together and seeing each other engaged in all kinds of sexual acts with others, what would be the value of rules and limits? I said "none" but quickly qualified that with safe sex and honesty. Those were to be the only rules. Veganchick happily agreed to this. The safe sex was even open to discussion in the future if this was to become a long-term thing, but for now there were to be no fluid exchanges.
Knowing veganchick as well as I do, I left her with a very serious and heartfelt piece of advice. She tends to rush in to things, especially romantic and sexual things. I warned her to protect herself emotionally, take things slow and make sure it's what she really wanted. To not do anything she would wish she hadn't done, too much too soon etc. Part of me knew she would do this anyway. But with 6 years of unshaken honesty and communication, I had no worries that there would be anything we couldn't manage together.
Last edited by Podunk; 10-06-2011 at 01:54 PM.
Reason: Add spacing.