A little background, since this is my first post. I am in a relationship with forum member veganchick
. We have been together for six years, share parenting of each other's children, own a home together and were legally married in January of this year. One of our earliest discussions was about open relationships/polyamory. Both of us had felt poly in the past but never been in a relationship that allowed any exploration. It was exciting to be falling madly in love with someone who was not going to close off any possibilities in life.
Early on we dabbled in swinging and still do, although very infrequently (once a year if we're lucky!) as time, jobs and parenting don't allow many opportunities. One of our first swinging experiences, and the most fulfilling, actually was closer to poly. We met casually at first in their home, our children played together; we talked and had dinner together. On our one and only date, we went out together and then back to our place, drank and sexed late in to the night. They stayed over and we made them breakfast in the morning. It was beautiful to us. Unfortunately, the husband was not ready for all of this, and we didn't see them again.
This is all relevant to show you the reader where I am coming from. We have had sex with friends, with strangers and in groups. We have had bonding experiences with another couple. We have spent hours reading this forum and years discussing being open. This past month has presented for the first time for either of us, veganchick an opportunity to explore another relationship on a solo basis.
This all began at an Intentional Communities conference in late August. While not a poly-specific event, there were many poly folks in attendance. It was very liberating to be able to talk/live openly about who we are with like-minded people. The most popular forum at the conference was the alternative relationships workshop. The setting for the event allowed for a great deal of personal freedom, that veganchick quickly took advantage of.
On a hot August Saturday night, there was a dance party at the intentional community hosting the conference. It was open to the conference attendees, the community and several nearby intentional communities. Quite the groovy, pack of dancing alterna-commune-hippie folks. There is no air conditioning in the community and shirts were quickly shed.
Veganchick loves to dance and it didn't take long for her to attract the attention of both men and women. Long blonde hair, glistening breasts and cute shy smile. What's not to love? Add to that an amazingly interesting and wonderful personality. Yes, she is the whole package.
One guy in particular was mesmerized, I'll call him Paul. Paul kept coming over to dance near veganchick. She said to me that she thought he liked her. I said "of course he does!" Having some body image issues (from pregnancy and childbearing), veganchick tends to have some self-esteem issues, mostly minor and not debilitating in any way. She went back in and danced with him, they spent a good bit of time sitting outside chatting and getting to know each other. I sat down with them for a few minutes to reassure everyone involved that I was okay with it all.
The next day Paul joined us for the alternative relationships workshop and for a tour of a neighboring intentional community. We all parted as friends and with heartfelt hugs.