Originally Posted by RunicWolf
Sorry for my late entry into this thread. BrigidsDaughter sent me over here because she said I might be able to help out, as I'm most certainly the kinkier of the two of us.
I wouldn't say that you are the kinkier of the two of us, but I would say that you are the more experienced of the two of us and that is really what I was hoping you could contribute.
As for myself, I am a masochist with a dominant personality who enjoys bondage. I play paintball, participate in boffer LARPS (full contact, but not full force with lightweight foam weapons), and Dagorhir (full contact and full force, but with heavier padded weapons). Outside of the bedroom, pain invigorates me, energizes me, lifts my mood, and just makes me feel alive. Inside the bedroom, I've I've heard it referred to as having my batteries in backwards; as in the more/ longer/ harder you beat me, the more turned on I get and the more orgasmic I get. Intercourse after that leaves me "fuck drunk".
I love teeth and nails in the bedroom and my guys love the noises I make. I enjoy when they draw blood; I love how my skin stings in the scalding hot showers I take for days after and will often experience "after shock" orgasms when my clothes rub on the marks they leave on my skin or from just looking at my reflection. I'm not to the point where I NEED pain to orgasm, but if I don't have some element of pain either before or during sex, it isn't quite as satisfying as when I do.
I'm definitely not naturally inclined to be submissive, but as a gamer, I can roll play just about anything so I have been working on teaching myself to slip into the roll of submissive.... why? Well, in part because two of my lovers are Dominants and if they are willing to beat me silly, than why shouldn't I at least make the effort to give them something that they need, even if it doesn't come naturally and my instinct is to fight it? I mean, what else does one do when there are 4 people in a relationship and the make up is 1) Dominant sadist, 2) masochists (our other masochist is not interested in getting into D/s), and 1) Dominant who has learned how to beat their masochist partners out of love? If you can switch, why not?
Runic Wolf and I actually had a conversation in the car today where I asked if it was better for him when he accidentally sent me into subspace after hours of flogging or knowing that I was willingly submitting to him. He said that for him it didn't matter. But for the other Dominant in my life, I think it does. I don't know for sure, but perhaps I will ask tomorrow night. But for now, I'm going to sit here with my slightly stinging ass until our son goes to bed and I can go back down to the workshop.... I wonder if our friends suspect that any armor or leather goods that we make are tested out on my ass before they're sold?
As far as sex is concerned; while not every session in bed needs to be full BDSM, I'd rather have some kink than none at all. Which makes me wonder why we've been having so much vanilla sex lately, but then I remember that when you're a parent, you take whatever sex you can get. To me, if I'm going to make love, be sweet and tender, skip the dirty talk in favor of sweet talk, that's when I want vanilla sex.