@ Indie, Thanks!
I enjoyed your recent long post. See, you've done "kinky" things that i'd be terrified to try. Cum freaks me out, hardcore lol. It's one of those things I'm not really sure how I'll integrate into sex happily. Guess i'll figure it out eventually. Perhaps because i've never actually seen it.
But still, the idea of it makes me anxious. Yet, I've been tied up, beat till I'm black and blue and electrocuted (not all on the same night!) lol. I like floggers and takedown/capture scenes and interrogation. I don't think that being kinky is a contest where one of us gets to be more kinky. There is a whole spectrum. You don't have to be a masochist or a sadist to be kinky. You don't have to like needles or floggers or leather. There is one girl I know and the main thing she likes to be a puppy. You really can pick and choose what you like. And it's a lot about the creativity. It sounds like you're pretty creative in bed and i'm sure your partners love it!
And you certainly don't have to assume a "kinky" identity. Although if you did, any guy you take home would have no right to assume that he knows what you are and aren't into without asking you first just because you said you were kinky. I think many people are more kinky than they perceive themselves as being. I wish it didn't have to be so black and white where there are kinks and vanillas. I think it's more of a spectrum at the end of the day. I would be pretty hesitant to date a 10 mins with the lights off missionary kind of guy but that's because we're at very different places on the spectrum.