Thread: BDsm
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Old 10-05-2011, 04:36 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by Lucinda View Post
Well the thing is, a lifestyle submissive needs the other person to take the leadership role. To be dominant honours the submissive person's desire to not have the responsibility of directing the relationship. To be dominant respects the submissive's very real need to have somebody to serve.
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Might be difficult for vanilla people to understand, but subs/slaves truly enjoy being owned by their Masters/Mistresses. They need to feel taken care of, and feel free not being responsible for final decisions on everything (or anything), for one reason or another. Slaves feel safe with their contract, the chores, the enforced bedtime, etc. The structure helps them to grow and be more productive.
I find that I'm having trouble with the use of the word "need" in the two quotes above. I imagine that it may well be that you guys intended the word "some" or "most" to be implied to be appended before the word sub or slave in some of the sentences above. For example, "Many subs/slaves need to feel taken care of". So I know this will sound nitpicky, but here I go anyway.

Because couldn't it be, rather than a need, a very strong want for some? This is at the heart of what I was trying to get at when I mentioned switches above, I think. Someone can want very much to be dominated, maybe even enough to want it 24/7, and yet still be ok without it. I could see myself going 24/7 some day, for the right person, in the right relationship, but if it never happens I'll be just fine. Maybe it's different in that my desires are for service oriented submission but not for "slavery" per se?

Obviously for some it really is a relationship need, I just don't think it's true as a blanket statement. Of course, maybe the word need could come into play for me in that if I got to that point with someone, and we took it to that level, it could be that I would need it from that person in the context of that relationship. Hmm...
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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