OK I see I was way off base. I'm sorry, I just read the thread too quickly this morning.
Are we to understand your partner has had a couple casual sexual flings already? And you want to have sex with, and love with, a woman, but do not want to do it casually. Yet, you fear you will desire your partner less, and neglect him, when NRE hits you if you combine sex with these certain other people, friends, that you desire.
This is so weird for me. I'm young (21) but very independent and mature for my age, so I'm not used to encountering something that I can't figure out or don't already know how to do.
Aren't young people always encountering new things they have never done before? Having to "figure stuff out" about life, about themselves?