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Old 10-04-2011, 09:12 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

Dear Carma,

first of all: you have been on our minds lately and none of us was able to understand why you suffer such a situation like the one you have with your husband at the moment. I would never tolerate a person dear to me, lying to me for what reason ever and that's why I have such a hard time understanding your lenience. Because that's what it seems to be to me when you downplayed Sundance's behavior to 'little white lies' and such … btw they are called adversity lies in German, a lie that you tell because of an emergency and a dire need to do so; I wasn't able to see Sundace's emergency when he told them, but maybe this is due to the one sided story I was able to read here. What ever will come out of this for you, remember not to forget your needs and what you desire for yourself in life.

I would love to tell you more, you have kept me quite occupied mentally during your ordeal, but this may be too much. Just rest assured that We (all three of us) are wishing you the very best to come out of this for everyone involved.

I don't know why this blog seems to be soft and dreamy to you … maybe because I create my worries out of thin air most of the time But I think you are right that everything goes really smoothly up to now. I don't know why, as I mentioned before, I am kind of waiting for some misery to finally knock at our door. Maybe the persons involved are just too even-tempered to stir up some major drama but who knows …

I asked Lin because I couldn't think of a reason why things are as they are and he just guessed that the main factor may be that he and Sward didn't see the other as a rival right from the start. And with a little wink he noted, that this may be due to his height. He was just too small to appear as a thread. But he got no answer to my question why Sward didn't intimidate him the other way round, because (following this logic) he just has to seem massive and tall and 'oh so manly' to Lin on the other hand. I remember a remark of Sward during our early period of discussion when I told him. He said that he didn't want to destroy this chance for Lin and me, that he was kind of happy for us in some ways. “You are in love again. It is so great that you will be able to experience all these wonderful emotions again, I am a bit envious. And I think that you as well as Lin deserve this chance to be true to your feelings. I don't want to destroy it and I want it to happen and work.” This should have been his words, more or less, it was some weeks ago, but I was so moved by his words that I remember them.

But be that as it may … I am not sure that this will last 'forever'. I mean, you said that poly worked ten months for you before things got this ugly. Who knows. Maybe our start is great and we are going to face some difficulties later on. As long as things are great I am going to take your point of view and embrace every precious day that we are alive

And another thing that came to my mind while reading your remark: After it was clear that Lin's condition was about to stabilize finally I demanded from him the same I made Sward promise already: to live longer than me because I would never be able to bury one of them. Well, he promised me to stay alive until he turns 60 for now … we will see how far the medical research and methods are till then ^.^'
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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Last edited by Phy; 10-04-2011 at 10:30 PM.
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