"I think they donít really believe in love, and I think they force themselves to deal with the thought of the person they love having sex with other people because they think thatís the only way to really hold onto their love."
My apologies if I don't have this quote thing done correctly, I'm the next best thing to illiterate. I have to admit though, that my present open-ness to polyamory came about because of this exact issue. I've always had attractions and emotional connections outside of my relationships that either convinced me that I didn't care about my partner enough, or guilty as if I was cheating. Because I believed in monogamy. A good part of my initial anger with my husband when he wanted an open marriage was that I had been sacrificing my needs and desires on the altar of marriage, and he hadn't. Before we started dating we'd actually enjoyed girl and guy watching together. Now when we're together, I can get a kick out of watching my husband flirt with our friends, and have fun myself. Just because something may start out of pain or anger, doesn't mean that it cant grow into something healthy.