Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
It's not a matter of pretending or playing, it's "I own you and we're in love" instead of the usual marriage thing which basically says "we own each other and we're in love" (I know the word "own" is anathema to most polys, but that's essentially how most mutually monogamous and closed couples operate, as I see it, and keep in mind that I don't see that as a negative thing at all).
Yes, and in the patriarchal mindset, as reflected in ancient literature and up to the early 20th century, men truly owned their wives. She did NOT own him. It's become a bit more egalitarian since the 1960s, but old habits die hard.
Might be difficult for vanilla people to understand, but subs/slaves truly enjoy being owned by their Masters/Mistresses. They need to feel taken care of, and feel free not being responsible for final decisions on everything (or anything), for one reason or another. Slaves feel safe with their contract, the chores, the enforced bedtime, etc. The structure helps them to grow and be more productive.
My gf has a slave mentality and has been a 24/7 slave. When we met she kind of wanted me to be her Miss, but I didn't have it in me, even though I am comfortable with decision-making. It felt too much like parenting to me, and I'd already BTDT, for decades. However, once in a while when miss pixi just can't decide on something, she'll ask me to choose and I do.
As far as actual kink play/sex play, I've triggered her inner Top, since I am a switch in that arena.