It's possible to grow in self-esteem (and self-compassion) while IN relationship/s. (I'm saying this because it seemed necessary in relation to earlier posts.) But doing so requires you to be the right sort of partner to yourself and your partner/s and for the partner/s to be the right sort of partner for you. That means that you're each helping one another as allies in this endeavor while you also assume the proper proportion of responsibility toward your own healing and growth.
How do I know? I'm walking that path. I'm one lucky guy.