I'm thinking that co-dependency does come from the experience the two of you had around your parents. Maybe you are clinging to one another. You can love and be with someone deeply without that but if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. It sounds like you experienced some trauma and that takes time to heal from. I suggest backing right up and working on breaking out on your own in other areas of life first. If you can do that with success in terms of staying connected and building strength through independence then I think THEN might be the time to act on your crushes.
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