Originally Posted by nycindie
That as a submissive you can't stand up for yourself and say you won't take bullshit anymore unless you call a time-out and negotiate that you may now speak. It just goes against everything I feel about treating another human being with honor and respect to put them in that subservient position, beyond a sexy bedroom game. I know it's real and the way people choose to live, and I've thought about it a lot, but I have a very hard time understanding the benefits.
Well the thing is, a lifestyle submissive needs
the other person to take the leadership role. To be dominant honours the submissive person's desire to not have the responsibility of directing the relationship. To be dominant respects the submissive's very real need to have somebody to serve.
Ideally, the dominant person is somebody who will be responsibily about this so that stepping out of role to renegotiate is unnecessary. Occassionally, even when the dominant person acts in good faith and does their best to be responsible, some renegotiation is necessary. But when they step out of their role, they put their real self on hold. The dominant or submissive aspect of their personality is
their real self.