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Old 10-03-2011, 07:17 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,546

I think this is a case where your age is a factor. Quite simply, the more experience you have in relationships, and in managing multiple relationships, the more adept and confident you will become. It's quite okay at your age to not know something and to feel a bit apprehensive yet nervously excited about something you've never tried before. The 20s are meant to be about exploring and finding out who you are, you don't have to have all the answers yet. Just be smart, considerate, and take the steps forward that you feel comfortable with, and every now and then push up against a boundary, take a risk, and see how it feels.

About this:
Originally Posted by sadibird View Post
We're both very careful about our relationship as we've both lived through the crap of our respective parents' divorces and don't want to repeat their mistakes (lying, deliberately hurting each other, cheating, being unwilling to compromise).
While it's very valuable to see the lessons in your parents' relationships, be careful that you don't start constructing your life around "not being them." Whenever we make up our minds to "not be like our parents," it's very easy to fall into the trap of shaping who and what and how we are as the opposite of them, or as a rebellion against what they did, which turns out to be, essentially, the same thing. It's just the flip side of the same coin, and ultimately, what we resist, persists. So, just try to stay open to finding out what works for YOU, what makes YOU happy, and treating others how YOU want to be treated, rather than just making sure you are avoiding what they did. Capisce?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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