Originally Posted by redpepper
There is a certain amount of separation with poly regardless of NRE. The co-dependant bit isn't as strong, or even in existent in most poly relationships. There is nothing wrong with that. It just takes some getting used to.
What would happen if you totally feel into NRE with another person? Would you run from your partner? Would you some how fall out of love with them? I suggest really allowing your mind to go there rather than avoiding it. Really see what you think you would do. No one knows what would really happen, but one thing is for sure, you won't know until it does and all you can do is prepare in all the ways you know how and see what happens.
I'm not sure what you mean about the codependent bit of relationships - do you mean the closeness and joined at the hip part of a monogamous relationship? We definitely have some of that going, and it would feel weird to me not to have that.
I know I need to think about this a lot more. My partner and I have talked about it quite a bit in the last week or so, but he gets overwhelmed if we talk about too much at once, and it might be a hormonal thing but I've been getting emotional at the thought of not being completely devoted to him. I realize that sounds odd. We're both very careful about our relationship as we've both lived through the crap of our respective parents' divorces and don't want to repeat their mistakes (lying, deliberately hurting each other, cheating, being unwilling to compromise).
This is so weird for me. I'm young (21) but very independent and mature for my age, so I'm not used to encountering something that I can't figure out or don't already know how to do.
Last night I had this weird freak out about this poly metaphor involving running shoes (something about wanting to buy new shoes but not abandoning my favorite pair, I think).