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Old 10-03-2011, 05:02 AM
cuddlecakes cuddlecakes is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near NYC
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Originally Posted by Casey View Post
Oh, Shannon has expressed a preference I don't sleep with any of their relatives (have to adopt a look but don't touch attitude here, a particular cousin is VERY nice to look at). It is not a "rule", but it is something I shall respect.
Is that just something that's been discussed verbally?

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A long list of rules would just be confusing.
Yes, unless you're lawyers or into Nomic.

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And sometimes rules are harder to follow for other parties.
That's a good point. Agreements can be asymmetrical.

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Originally Posted by rory View Post
I'm not sure the thinking "these are the rules we have set up and if they are broken, punishment will follow" is very useful or workable in relationships. If you want to have that, then you'll have to go through with whatever you want the punishment to be.
Agreed. But then what? You just state your... "wishes" and if the other person doesn't respect them, you.... talk about it?

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Maybe you could try to let go of some of the "lesser rules" altogether. If it's something you both want, like calling each other after your dates then you'll do it anyway, right? So you don't really need the rule.
Well, it has to be stated in some way or we won't know that we both want it.

(Yeah, that's certainly not a rule, just something we've agreed to do, and not even universally. "I won't be back until late, do you still want me to call after?")

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thus making it an agreement and not a rule (although that may be semantics to you).
This thread is intended to be about semantics; about the way we talk about and enforce rules/boundaries/agreements/whatever.
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