Originally Posted by Magdlyn
. . . she told him (cuddles) she just "happened to bump into" a guy from OKC, when the reality was, she was out clubbing with friends, texting with OKC guy all night, got drunk and met up with him at 3AM! I know I'd feel awful if miss pixi did something like that, and lied/downplayed it... "Oh, we just bumped into each other."
Perhaps the rules feel so restrictive to her that she thought the only way to handle it was to lie, like being backed into a corner and not feeling like she has the freedom to be as open as she wants to be! When someone keeps breaking rules and apologizing, breaking rules and apologizing, over and over, obviously the rules don't work for that person. But a lot of times someone like that will agree to those rules because they're afraid of losing their partner if they don't. She hasn't stood up for herself enough in an assertive, direct way, but is clearly letting him know what she wants in a passive way. It sounds like she lied about it so as not to hurt his feelings, but she did the thing in the first place because she can't easily abide by his restrictions. I think some re-negotiations and assessment of what can be reasonably expected could help both of them.