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Old 10-02-2011, 09:04 PM
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sadibird sadibird is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: California
Posts: 7

Thanks for the replies and advice!

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
What happened to these attractions?
The first was with a close female friend. I'll call her S. I started having this intense need to kiss her, and she certainly didn't help matters. Essentially, another close friend decided that he had "dibs" on her and that he was going to make it impossible for anyone else to have any sort of relationship with her until he had the chance to tell her how he felt. As he is my man's best friend, I thought that no matter what I was feeling I ought to give him the chance to make his move.

As we knew would happen, he was rejected. S ended up finding a boyfriend, getting pregnant, and having a baby. I was her friend throughout all of this, present at the birth, and am an honorary aunt to the baby. It's only been in the last 6 months that the attraction has faded. I guess it's just how that works sometimes - you don't act on something and it eventually fades in favor of someone else.

The second was more recent. I've become close with another of my man's friends. I'll call him F. F is constantly having relationship issues due to past issues of abuse (by his parents), and I act as a sounding board for him. Except it started getting really hard to listen to him when he's going into detail about all the sex that he's having/he had. This got majorly intense when my man was stressed out and had no sex drive*. All I could think about was, "I'm horny, he's horny, what's the problem?" Plus there's my need to rescue people.

Seeing as F is basically a brother to my man, I realized that a) he would never touch me out of respect to my man, and b) I would never be forgiven by anyone in my man's life if I did anything with F.

*I have a very high sex drive

Both these times I felt completely separate from my man. It's kind of like when I have PMS really bad and just don't feel any attraction/love towards him (I've learned not to make life decisions when I have PMS).

I guess that with our new agreement to open our relationship (he wants me, and another woman to just have sex/friendship with), I was feeling like, "Yeah, me too - I want to sleep with someone else!" I just get this feeling that I can't focus on loving more than one person at a time. For me love and sex very much go together.
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