Thread: BDsm
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Old 10-02-2011, 03:01 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 194

I would hope that we are, at least in part, in any relationship for funsies.

And yes, of course I see a similarity between a hardcore gamer and a career artist. I am an artist, and I just compared gaming to my own violin playing just a few posts back. Obviously, not everything is the same, but meaningful parallels can be drawn: the commitment it takes, the constant preoccupation of one's mind, the way it shapes your life in a way that it doesn't for someone who only does it a few hours a week. The way that we do it anyway, even on days when we're tired or we're sick of it or it isn't working.

Every pursuit works on a spectrum, and there are sort of "amateurs" and "professionals" at it. And yes, I *do* add D/s--or actually all of BDSM--into my list of pursuits that can be treated seriously or casually--just like gaming, or art.

Gaming spectrum:
I played King's Quest with my wife when it came out. <===Casual
I have discussions with my friends while being my D&D character. <===Hardcore

Art spectrum:
I take a pottery class on Wednesdays. <===Casual
It feels like my whole body dances on stage even when I'm sleeping. <===Hardcore

D/s spectrum:
Sometimes, in bed, I like my husband to pretend he's my teacher and discipline me. <===Casual
My husband wears a collar and follows a contract we drew up 24/7. <===Hardcore

Not everyone has the gumption to do things hardcore. I think you underestimate how truly noble, how arduous, I consider our pursuit of funsies to be!

But anyone on the outside, any non-hardcore gamers, so to speak, can't possibly see why we'd do it. They think we're "taking our hobbies too seriously", and, the thing is... perhaps we are. Sometimes, when things are hard, I wonder why I'm doing this and think that perhaps the casuals have the right idea. Haven't you ever had similar doubts... thoughts of giving it up, taking a break, not guiding your partner's every thought or move, because it would be easier? But we press on in the end, because of the funsies.

Look, I realize that "funsies" was probably a pretty flippant word to use, and I apologize for being glib. I hope you can now take my full meaning.

My main point stands. I just read a few pages of people who said that they understand why a couple would do D/s in the bedroom, but they can't imagine why they would do it for hours, or all day, or let it take over their relationship. Well, of course they don't understand. They're just not hardcore.
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