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Old 10-02-2011, 08:51 AM
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rory rory is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuddlecakes View Post
I feel like if you're not going to break up over rule-breaking (and I probably wouldn't unless it was really egregious), then what's the point in having them?
Well, there you go. I'm not sure the thinking "these are the rules we have set up and if they are broken, punishment will follow" is very useful or workable in relationships. If you want to have that, then you'll have to go through with whatever you want the punishment to be. You've already stated that you won't break up over something minor. But if you try to punish somebody you're in relationship with you'll hurt both of you (say, not talking to her; she won't get to talk to you and will possibly feel hurt but you won't get to talk with her either). Plus, it's sort of something you wouldn't want or need in adult relationships, don't you think?

Maybe you could try to let go of some of the "lesser rules" altogether. If it's something you both want, like calling each other after your dates then you'll do it anyway, right? So you don't really need the rule. And if it's something only one of you wants and the other isn't able or willing to do, then maybe it's better to look for a compromise you can both agree to; thus making it an agreement and not a rule (although that may be semantics to you).
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