Originally Posted by nycindie
Yeah, I totally get that part. I just don't understand the appeal in NOT being an equal in a relationship in the first place. That's what boggles me. That as a submissive you can't stand up for yourself and say you won't take bullshit anymore unless you call a time-out and negotiate that you may now speak. It just goes against everything I feel about treating another human being with honor and respect to put them in that subservient position, beyond a sexy bedroom game. I know it's real and the way people choose to live, and I've thought about it a lot, but I have a very hard time understanding the benefits.
I was in a relationship with someone who had these boundary issues as a dominant. Those who can't keep this in perspective and think that a D/s CONSENSUAL relationship gives them the right to be an asshole are ASSHOLES and I don't even want to be in a NON D/s relationship with them. I fail to see the benefit in holding the D/s dynamic responsible for this kind of abuse, when folks who abuse it would suck at ANY kind of relationship. It's the same thing as saying "Sometimes polyamorous relationships are abusive, therefore I can't see any benefit to being in a polyamorous relationship 24/7."
"Sometimes people die in car accidents, therefore I cannot see any benefit to driving a car"
Ever heard the expression "Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater?"